Throughout our lives, we serve many functions and purposes. Sibling, friend, teammate, spouse, parent, teacher, manager, counselor, muse—the list goes on. Once we die, outside of memories, our purpose seems to end...but it doesn’t necessarily have to. Yes, we can serve an immensely beneficial purpose once we die through a program called “whole body donation.”

What is Whole Body Donation?

Whole-body donation is the arranged act of donating one’s body “to science” after death. Once someone dies, their bodies are immediately transported from the site of death to the medical school of their choice or following funeral services. Bodies donated to medical schools are used for educational purposes for both medical students as well as experienced doctors for continuing education or surgical training.

Why Should I Consider Whole Body Donation?

No Substitution for a Real Body

Modern technological innovation in the sphere of medical training and research has made incredible strides in the development of educational tools and materials. Though this is the case, there is no educational substitution for a real human body. For aspiring doctors, many consider the body used to help them learn an array of functions to be their first patient. One cadaver can provide incredible insights about the human body that will help a doctor throughout their career. Other bodies donated for continued surgical training for experienced doctors will reduce the number of treatment errors for living patients. The educational input provided by one donated body can save countless lives over the careers of these doctors.

Cost Saving Measure for Final Resting

If losing a loved one wasn’t hard enough, funerals, cremations, and burials are among some of the most expensive services most of us will ever pay for. According to Parting.com, the average North American funeral and burial cost anywhere from $7,000-$10,000. Though medical schools do not pay for bodies donated to their institutions in keeping with Federal law, most will cover the costs associated with laying to rest the donated bodies. Though the remains of most donated bodies are cremated, special arrangements can be made for the remains to be buried. This option may vary depending on the chosen institution.

How to Elect for Whole Body Donation

If you or a loved one are interested in donating your body to science, it is encouraged that you contact the medical school of your choice directly. This recommendation is to eliminate the chances of the improper usage of a donated body by a third-party intermediary service. Medical schools that accept donated bodies strive to make the body donation process as easy as possible for the next of kin. The department responsible for receiving donated bodies can help families make the necessary legal and administrative arrangements that will ensure a stress-free donation process. To further streamline the process and remove complications, arrangements should be made ahead of time as much as possible.

Who is Eligible for Body Donation?

There exists a common misconception that someone who is incredibly old or who experienced a traumatic disease cannot donate their body to science. Though some bodies will be denied from the program, these typically only include rare instances—possible communicable disease, extreme obesity, autopsy, or other reasons a body cannot be used for education purposes. Individual medical institutions set the criteria for donation eligibility.

Will My Body Be Treated With Respect?

Though most medical institutions cannot disclose the specific use of each donated body, they can assure family members that their loved one’s remains are treated with the utmost respect. Despite possible dissections or surgical training sessions, all honor and dignity possible are granted from the moment a body is received until it has adequately served its purpose and is ready for cremation or burial. Students are typically “introduced” to their assigned cadaver as one might meet a study partner. Many institutions have a concluding ceremony to honor those who have donated their bodies. Some students write thank-you letters to the families of those who have given their bodies. The entire process is treated with the highest honor, dignity, and respect.

Whole Body Donation in Oklahoma

If you’re interested in whole-body donation in Oklahoma, here are a few helpful links to help you begin the process.

Willed Body Program - OU Medicine

• https://www.oumedicine.com/college-of-medicine/information-about/office-of-medical-education-(ome)/willed-body-program

Body Donor Program - OSU Medical Center

• Email thom.garrison@okstate.edu or (918) 561-8446

For additional information on quality hospice services serving the Greater Tulsa, OK area, you’re invited to learn about CURA-HPC Hospice & Palliative Care.

While daily life must continue following the death of a loved one, the emotions associated with grief can feel like an immense weight that is impossible to shake. Fortunately, for many experiencing grief and depression, they are discovering an incredibly powerful tool for relief from an unlikely activity—exercise.

“Does the gym attract happy people or are people happy because they go to the gym?”

It sounds counterintuitive—exercising while in grief? Indeed, you'll likely never see someone in a depressed state on the treadmill or swimming laps. If these two activities seem to be at odds, that's because scientifically, they are.

How Exercise Effects Grief

Even though exercise is not a magic bullet to help the grieving completely rebound, the effect it has on one's brain chemistry is undeniable. When one partakes in a particular duration and intensity of exercise, the brain is triggered to release several chemicals, including endorphins. Endorphins are incredible mood-boosting chemicals designed to relieve discomfort. While these endorphins were largely designed to help our ancient ancestors outrun predators, today, they can make us feel physically and emotionally amazing after a great workout.

"Exercise is a very good and positive tool that people can use while grieving, mainly because it triggers that release of neurotransmitters and the release of endorphins," reported Sharon Stallard , a trained bereavement counselor.

"That was it."

At a hulking 6'6", comedian Gary Gulman has been making audiences laugh all over the world for nearly 30 years. Despite inspiring the happiness of millions, Gary had a dark secret he hid for years—he was suffering from deep depression.

For decades, Gary checked into a variety of mental health programs with mixed results. Exercise, however, has been one of his saving graces.

During a podcast episode with fellow comedian Pete Holmes , Gary said that, when he was feeling down, there was one question he would ask himself:

"Have I exercised today? Usually the answer is, 'no, I haven't exercised today.' 'Alright, see how you feel after you exercise.' And at this point, thank God, after I exercise, oh, that was it. ... every time for a couple of years now...and it can be as little as 18 minutes. I've never gone under 18 minutes— it's probably 10. But you don't want to tell me that—the guy who just exercises 10 minutes a day...and he's happy?"

Exercising For Grief Resilience

If you've ever heard the NPR news quiz show, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," you've likely heard the unmistakably gruff comedic elbow-jabs of the legendary Paula Poundstone. Suffering from happiness issues of her own, Poundstone researched and wrote a book The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human Happiness. Her research consisted of her experimenting with the various age-old happiness avenues and seeing which fostered the greatest results. Experiments varied from test driving sports cars to volunteering with charitable organizations.

During an interview with Parade , Poundstone expounded one of her findings—the impact exercise had on the resilence of her happiness in the face of grief.

Interviewer: "...You write that exercise made you feel more resilient. Again, that's not something we necessarily think of when it comes to being happy..."

Poundstone: "Yeah, it definitely was. I do think it provided a better shield than most things. If some of the things that happened during that stretch (of regular exercise) had happened during the stretch of another (happiness experiment)—like my friend Martha dying...If Martha had died while I was driving a Lamborghini (one of Poundstones' happiness experiments), it would have been a totally different experience...because it's worthless. It comes with too much reflection... It's a can of worms. And push-ups aren't."

How Much Exercise is Necessary?

You may feel that you don't possess the time to exercise enough to experience the intended results. According to a 2017 study by Black Dog Institute , as little as one hour a week of exercise was shown to reduce the intensity of the symptoms of depression. Divided over the course of the week, that's less than 10 minutes a day.

Finding Exercise You Enjoy

For those experiencing grief who would like to give the mood-enhancing effects of exercise a shot, they should know that most forms of physical activity can be considered exercise. Many of us imagine sweating on a treadmill or lifting weights, but exercise can be achieved in other more enjoyable ways. Going for a walk. Dancing. Skipping rope. Swimming at a leisurely pace. To increase the chances of adopting a habit of regular exercise, it is vital to find a form of exercise you actually enjoy and will look forward to performing.

Summary

● Exercise can trigger mood-enhancing endorphins

● As few as 10 minutes a day may be necessary

● Exercise may make you more resilient against grief

● Exercise can take on many enjoyable forms

In addition to enjoying the myriad of benefits of regular exercise, we hope that you will consider regular exercise for helping ease feelings of grief and depression.

Whether you’ve recently lost a loved one or you’re making those necessary arrangements beforehand, writing an obituary can feel emotionally challenging. Feelings can seem like a barrier between you and this task that needs to be accomplished. With that being said, the act of writing an obituary doesn’t have to be difficult—it can actually be immensely cathartic. The goal of this piece is to guide you step-by-step through the obituary writing process as well as help you see the therapeutic impact of such a seemingly daunting task.

The Types of Obituaries

Before you begin, we must note that there are a few different obituary styles.

Self-Written Obituaries

As the name implies, self-written obituaries are written by the individual themselves. These are usually written by people who are immensely forward-thinking and want to save their loved ones the discomfort of writing such a document. Some of these may have been written at varying stages of health or realization of the progression of a condition. The person’s desire to have a self-written obituary should be completely respected. Still, review all details to make sure they are current—such as a change in family structure or if they had moved since writing their obituary. When in doubt, lean into respecting their own wishes.

Funeral-Use Obituary

The “funeral use” obituary will be the primary obituary used for funeral program inserts, possible read aloud at the funeral, and otherwise distributed. These are largely free of word-count limitations, but should ideally fit neatly on one page.

Newspaper Obituary

The newspaper obituary is the obituary submitted to newspapers for publication. This may be a slightly shorter version of the funeral-use obituary—opting for more details over personal stories. The publication typically dictates the word-count for these.

How to Begin Writing Their Story

An obituary is a summary of a person’s life and what they held most dear. For this reason, writing one can be fairly therapeutic for those in mourning. Let’s break down the usual parts of a person’s obituary story.

The Essential Details

Most obituaries begin with the essential information about the person’s death. They may contain their name, age, and details about when and where they died.

Buchanan “Bucky” Goldstein, 92, died early Monday morning, February 17, 2020, at this home in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

For newspaper obituaries, some may prefer to provide funeral details following these details. Some prefer to save these for the end.

Funeral services will be held Tuesday, February 18, 2020, at 11 am at Congregation B’nai Emunah in Tulsa, OK. Services will be immediately followed by a graveside service in The Preserve section of Woodland Memorial Park Cemetery in Sand Springs, OK.

Those Who Have Preceded Them

Immediately following the details of one’s death and funeral arrangements for the newspaper obituary, some may choose to mention close family members who have preceded them in death. This is optional.

Bucky is preceded in death by his father Emil, and his mother Shoshana, as well as brothers Morty, Rick, and sister Ruth.

The Story of Their Life

In telling the story of someone’s life, it is helpful, if not enjoyable, to start chronologically and walk through their early years. Begin with their birth as well as where and how they spent their childhood. As you move through the childhood and teenage years, mention some of the schools they attended, the organizations with which they were affiliated, and the activities they enjoyed. Feel free to pepper in memorable stories.

Bucky was born June 7, 1928, in Austin, Texas. He picked up the fiddle from the age of 4 with the help of his grandfather, Mendel Goldstein. His family moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma, in 1935 and became active members of Congregation B’nai Emunah, where Bucky celebrated his bar mitzvah in 1941. He attended Central Tulsa Highschool, where he showed a profound interest in poetry as well as western swing music. Bucky graduated from Oklahoma State University and married Ruby Glaser in 1952. He worked as a writer and editor for the Tulsa World until his retirement in 1993. He loved playing music for his children and grandchildren as with groups in the Tulsa area. Bucky will be remembered for his quiet wisdom, his warm sense of humor, and affinity for Tulsa.

Those They Leave Behind

At this point, some may mention the living family members of the individual. To guard the feelings of those who may be left out of this section due to word-count or writer error, it is recommended to finish this section fairly open-ended, i.e. “—as well as many other beloved family members and friends.”

Bucky is survived by his wife Ruby, children David, Betty, and Max, as well grandchildren Abigail, Jerry, Gabriel, Asher, Rachel, Ted, and great-grandchildren Levi, Rivkah, Ezra, and “Little” Bucky—as well as many other beloved family members and friends.

Next Steps

At this point in the obituary, it is customary to provide an address or organization where flowers or donations may be sent in honor of the person’s memory.

In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation in Bucky’s honor to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.

Conclusion

Nobody truly wants to write an obituary, but many find the process tremendously fulfilling. Treat this as an opportunity to recall the wonderful life that this person lived and the lives that they’ve touched. Know that the obituary you write will help fellow grieving friends and family members celebrate the life they led.

The image featured is used from the official website of Abridge. 

Even for those in relatively good health, doctor’s visits can still be nerve-wracking. “White coat syndrome” — appointment-induced anxiety — has been shown to spike a patient’s blood pressure far above what would be considered an accurate reading. Compound these jitters with receiving life-changing feedback and this can make properly digesting a doctor’s explanations and recommendations quite a feat. Fortunately, one mobile device application is taking the stress out of taking accurate notes — Abridge.

How Does it Work?

Abridge is a mobile device application available for free for iOS and Android operating systems. During a doctor’s appointment, a patient, caregiver, or anyone accompanying the patient can open the application and begin recording the doctor’s feedback and answers. This application wouldn’t be very groundbreaking if it were just another audio recording, though. To best serve patients and those caring for them, Abridge also automatically transcribes the conversation, accurately capturing details specific to the healthcare field. Standard transcription services often mistranscribe these anatomical, medicinal, and disease-based terms. Once the appointment is over, the app user only needs to tap the same button they used to start recording, and the program begins to transcribe the conversation automatically. If the app-user so chooses, they can enter additional appointment details and email the discussion and/or transcription anywhere they like directly from the application.

Why Use Abridge?

Even if we’re naturally scatterbrained individuals, when a medical professional is giving us feedback concerning our condition, we strive to be all ears. Despite some of our best efforts, many of us may mishear information or focus on specific details over others. This mishearing may result in missing suggested recommendations, feedback on conditions, or undue anxiety because of miscommunication.

The Importance of Accurate Notes

Sometimes in life, our minds have a funny way of allowing us to “mishear” what is plainly said. Anxiety can cause us to focus on negative feedback disproportionately. Denial can cause us to miss specific details. A patient with their loved one can sit in on the same doctor’s visit, and both claim they heard a report opposite to that of the other person. An accurately transcribed recording of the doctor’s feedback can be immensely helpful for those in emotionally charged medical situations.

Easy Coordination of Care

Most of us who end up needing medical treatment will likely not receive this care from one source or a single individual. A doctor may diagnose an ailment and prescribe therapy or medicine. The visit will need to be covered by a health insurance provider. A prescription will need to be filled by a pharmacy. A nurse may require specific care instructions. If the patient is experiencing dementia, the amount of information a caregiver needs to coordinate alone can be a significant source of anxiety. Proper recording and transcription of doctor and nurse feedback can help caregivers arrange the type of care a beloved patient may need.

If you would like to learn more about Abridge and download the totally free application on your mobile device, proceed to Abridge.com to sign up today.

Cura HPC Hospice & Palliative Care is proud to serve the Tulsa, Oklahoma area.

Several different emotions emerge in the wake of a loved one's passing. Numbness. Sadness. Emptiness. Pain. Regret. Nostalgia. Fear. Anxiety. There are too many to list, let alone process. These feelings can seem insurmountable. There are, however, some straightforward ways to begin to process feelings of grief. One such technique is the practice of journaling.

"Why would I want to journal my pain?"

If you've ever heard of the notion of journaling or perhaps dabbled in the process, writing about your pain may seem like the last thing you want to do. However, there are many incredible benefits to journaling about your feelings when in grief.

Active Processing of Emotions Into Words

The emotions associated with grief often feel incredibly raw. In many instances, this is because they are — completely unrefined, unprocessed, like wheat not ready for consumption. However, as you sit and consider how to begin to put your thoughts and emotions into words, this act helps to process your feelings. Like wheat in the mill is crushed to make flour, passing your feelings through the prefrontal cortex of the brain to label them and transform them into words can help defang these feelings for heightened processing. One brain imaging study even found that when specific labels are attached to negative emotions, this decreased the activity for these painful concepts in the amygdala — the section of the brain responsible for the perception of emotions.

"Sometimes, the only way around suffering is to go straight through it." - Anik Sarkar

Feeling Heard Without "Inconveniencing" Anyone

If you're like many people in grief, you may feel like expressing your pain makes you a "Debbie Downer" — inconveniencing others by bumming them out. Even though you likely have people close to you who are willing to lend an ear or shoulder as well as grief counselors, you may still feel odd about expressing your heartfelt pain to another. During these times, pouring out your emotions to a journal can be immensely therapeutic.

Think of a journal as the least judgemental friend. Your journal will never tell you to "snap out of it" or give you cues that they're tired of hearing all about your internal turmoil. They will stick by you for as long as you need to pour out your heart, to process your emotions, and to capture your tears. Even if you were to discard a journal entry immediately upon writing it, for the moments spent crafting every word, you were heard — by the pen, by the pages, by every line, by your fingers, and perhaps most importantly, by you. For this reason, journaling can begin to feel like a gift of relief you give yourself — permission to be vulnerable and to process your innermost thoughts and emotions.

Journaling Can Help Capture Memories

When prepping friends and family to interact with a grieving loved one, one of the most commonly asked questions is whether or not to mention the departed. The fear is that bringing up cherished memories will only reopen emotional wounds. As someone grieving, you likely understand that there's nothing you'd rather relive than the beautiful moments you spent with that one who has died. Journaling gives you a chance to not only relive these moments but also to capture them on pages for safekeeping.

When journaling, feel free to recall the details of a great day you shared with this loved one. Recollect every detail you can, the sights, sounds, sensations, smells, actions, and feelings — putting them into words on the page. Give these moments a chance at a second life in a way you can go back through later — just like you would with a photo album or older home movies. Not only is the act of reliving these moments immensely enjoyable, but putting them into words can help you process associated grief in the ways we discussed earlier in this piece.

What Journaling Can Look Like

There's no wrong way to journal.

Perhaps the only wrong way to journal is to not journal at all. Whether you only write a phrase or fill pages with emotions and memories, you're in charge of how to start journaling any time.

Typing vs. Handwriting

If they are faster typists, some individuals choose to type their journal entries for the speed of getting ideas out. They may also like being able to carefully organize journal files and use search functions for recalling certain days, topics, or concepts. For the majority of people, they prefer the cathartic act of putting pen to paper. Something about thinking carefully about each word that will be written without the escape of a backspace key can be very appealing. Either method is up to your preference.

Journaling Using Prompts

There will be times when you want to write in your journal, but feel stuck. For these occasions, there are many grief-related journaling prompts that can help. Some may journal by writing to their departed loved one in letter form. Some jumping-off sentences can include, "I remember the time...", "That time you made me laugh...", and "The greatest thing you taught me was..." One particularly useful prompt some recommend is writing the narrative of your loss, but in the third-person — from the perspective of a fly on the wall, so to speak. As you write this story, leaning into an outsider's perspective, list recommendations and consolations you would give yourself if you were someone else looking in.

Free Journaling

Sometimes, you won't want to be given a "homework assignment" in your journaling practice. These instances are great opportunities to just let feelings spill onto the page. If you're totally stuck and don't know what to write about, write about that and how that makes you feel. Follow that emotion wherever it goes. Don't feel the need to use correct spelling, grammar, or punctuation. Just use the page as a release valve and follow the internal narrative wherever it takes you.

Bonus: Beginning to Heal With a Gratitude Journal

At times, having an assignment can significantly affect our frame of mind. One such task is by writing a handful of things you are grateful for that day. Try to keep it fresh — thinking of a new item or concept to list every day. As you run out of the main items, such as health, family, employment, food, and housing, you will have to search deeper for things you appreciate. These can be as immense as closing a massive deal at work or seemingly small as someone opening the door for you. As you continue your gratitude journaling assignment, you will subconsciously start keeping an eye out for new instances or concepts to add to your gratitude journal. Over time, this practice will make you more conscious of the pleasantries of your daily life.

For additional help navigating the grieving process, the friendly professionals from CURA HPC Hospice & Palliative Care in Tulsa, Oklahoma, can help.