Losing a loved one can leave you with an open void in your being — a hole that you try to fill with memories as well as thoughts of what could have been. Clinging to memories, agonizing over their passing, and pondering a world where they’re still with you — all of these mental activities can make it enormously challenging to return to any semblance of a normal life. Some, however, are working to manage their grief by training their minds to focus on the present rather than remain tangled in the past or future. Such a practice is popularly known as Mindfulness Meditation.

Isn’t meditation for people who eat tofu and smell like patchouli? 

If you’re like most people, initial thoughts of meditation include hippies in tie-dye sitting cross-legged with their fingers pinched towards the sky. Unfortunately, this has been the reputation meditation has suffered from for over a generation. As ABC’s News correspondent and meditation advocate Dan Harris once put it, “Meditation has been the victim of the worst marketing campaign ever.” However, a growing body of scientific research is busting the misconception that meditation is solely for vegetarians who burn sage to ward off negative energy. The benefits of the secular practice of Mindfulness Meditation include everything from stress reduction, managing anxiety, depression, and one’s attention span. No hocus pocus required.

How does Mindfulness Meditation work?

The “mindfulness” aspect of Mindfulness Meditation is built on the idea that we can train our minds to better identify moments of rumination, perceive them without judgment, and let them go like clouds in the sky. 

Neuroplasticity: the ability to reshape your mind.

For generations, scientists were under the impression that, once our brains were fully developed, the ability to grow new neural pathways ceases. Studies by researchers in the 20th century, however, provided evidence of neuroplasticity — the ability for our brains to establish new pathways and even change shape. These new studies only confirmed old truths understood by long-time practitioners of Mindfulness Meditation — many who had been retraining their minds towards positive focus for generations.

What does Mindfulness Meditation look like from the meditator’s perspective?

A regular daily Mindfulness Meditation session usually proceeds like so: A person sits comfortably either on a cushion on the floor or in a straight-back chair. They keep their spine straight, head level, and eyes closed. They then bring their full attention to the raw sensation of their breath — either on their nostrils, chest, or belly. While attempting to bring their full attention to their breath, random thoughts inevitably start — what the Buddhists call "the Monkey Mind." These thoughts may vary from what to eat for lunch to regret over a joke that bombed in yesterday's meeting. The goal of Mindfulness Meditation is simply to notice that one is, in fact, thinking. Once a thought is detected, the practitioner returns their focus back to their breath. Many practitioners will even make a mental note once they realize they are thinking, allow themselves to observe the thought without analyzing its contents, and then return their attention back to the present moment by focusing on their breath. These seated Mindfulness Meditation sessions can last anywhere from 10-30 minutes a day. Some practitioners prefer guided meditations in the form of audio recordings or through classes at a meditation center. Others prefer to meditate alone and unguided.

How does Mindfulness Meditation help with grief, anxiety, and depression?

Mindfulness Meditation heightens a mental skill known as “meta-awareness” — the ability to recognize when you are lost in thought. Meta-awareness also allows a person to realize that they are separate from the voice in their head that we all experience. Continued sessions of Mindfulness Meditation helps one resist being dragged around by their thoughts, ruminations, and emotions. Each instance of noticing that you are lost in thought is a “bicep curl for the brain,” according to Dan Harris. Continued practice develops the skill to more quickly notice "monkey mind" ruminations and to return focus on the present moment. Several scientific studies have shown that mindfuless helps develop emotional regulation of the brain.

Though depression and anxiety are also the possible product of chemical imbalance, they can also be the product of uncontrollable rumination. Mindfulness Meditation has been shown in various studies to reduce the symptoms of depression and anxiety. In one study, Mindfulness Meditation was shown to be equally effective as medication in reducing the likelihood of depressive relapse for participants.

“But I’m not trying to forget my loved one.”

One possible objection to Mindfulness Meditation for the treatment of the symptoms of grief is the idea that meditators are attempting to trick their brains into being happy. While greater emotional control is a benefit of Mindfulness Meditation, the primary benefit of the practice is the reduction of compulsive rumination and a renewed focus on the present. Even when the present moment is challenging, regular meditation sessions can help alleviate the emotional suppression that can hold someone back from processing grief. Suppressing emotions can greatly extend symptoms of depression and anxiety associated with grief. Mindfulness Meditation can help sufferers start to gain a footing on their own emotional journey towards healing.

How to Begin a Mindfulness Meditation Practice

To see if Mindfulness Meditation is beneficial to you, various guided meditation apps, books, and classes exist to help. Some of the most popular guided meditation services are Calm, the Ten Percent Happier App, Headspace, and Waking Up. Courses in Mindfulness Meditation also likely exist in your area either through independent centers or wellness institutions.

The friendly specialists at CURA-HPC believe that hospice and palliative care goes beyond the patient — also extending to caregivers and loved ones. You’re invited to learn more about CURA-HPC Hospice and Palliative Services today.

For many, the holiday season is a time of immense joy — when families come together, braving the cold to enjoy each other’s warmth. Beautiful memories are made and past memories are remembered during this time of year. However, for those grieving the loss of a spouse, a parent, a family member, a friend, or even a child, the holidays can be a great source of distress and reopen emotional wounds. While this is a perfectly normal aspect of the grieving process, there are ways to minimize the anxiety of “the most wonderful time of the year.” 

Withdrawing or faking joy are not your only options. 

A side effect of our fear of being viewed as a burden is a perceived polarization of our social options. You may feel that, unless you can maintain a joyful disposition, that you should withdraw from social gatherings. You might fear that your own emotional state may diminish the holiday experience for others. This mindset frequently leads to two false scenarios. 

1. You feel the need “to put on a brave face” — a fake smile or a phony cheery disposition. While this feels like a decent band-aid for getting through the holidays, this emotional dichotomy can deepen sadness, perpetuate anxiety, and make any gathering exhausting. 
2. You may feel that, unless you can appear joyful, that you should just stay home. This may stem from fear of emotionally contaminating the gathering. Withdrawing from events as though your grief is contagious can seem like a logical approach. Though it seems plausible, this too can increase future anxieties about the holiday season. The physical and emotional quarantine can also exacerbate rumination and intensify grief. 

There is an overlooked third option. 

What is the third option? Giving yourself permission to be fully and genuinely yourself. Your family and friends love you. As much as they want to see you happy, even more so, they want to see you — a “you” comfortable in your own skin. They want you to feel safe opening up and being yourself. They certainly don’t want you to feel obligated to keep up appearances or feel the need to remain distant. 

Don’t feel obligated to maintain lofty expectations. 

For being a joyful season, the holidays are frequently loaded with anxiety-inducing expectations even for those not experiencing grief. If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one this year, you may feel that you need to keep certain family traditions alive even when you’re emotionally or physically exhausted. The good news? You don’t. While you may choose to do certain activities to honor a person’s memory, realize that you’re allowed to set the pace and tone for any holiday activity. 

Give yourself permission to be fully present. 

When you feel depressed, grief-stricken, or even just missing a loved one during the holiday season, these emotions can take you out of the present moment. It can be difficult to fully experience any holiday gathering while this loved one is on your mind. When you start to feel these painful emotions of loss bubble up inside, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and give yourself permission to be fully present. You don’t have to force it or condemn your negative emotions, but by simply allowing yourself to be present and form new positive memories, you can begin to enjoy the holidays. Remember that the loved one you are grieving would want nothing more than for you to be fully present and enjoy your holiday season. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. 

If you’re experiencing grief during the holidays, it can be easy to feel like a burden to others. You’re not. You may actually be surprised just how much family and friends want to help you, but you have to let them. Whether you need help cooking food, cleaning, preparing for an event, or lending their ear, don’t feel like you are imposing on your loved ones by asking for assistance. During this season of gifts wrapped in elaborate paper and topped with fancy bows, your loved ones would prefer to give the gift of their time and energy. 

Whether you’re experiencing extreme grief or just feel like talking with someone would help you manage negative emotions, there’s no shame in seeking the help of a supportive professional. An experienced therapist can supply the professional support necessary to help you endure the holiday season and lead you into a brighter new year. 

The hospice professionals from CURA HPC are proud to offer grief counseling services. You’re invited to learn more about CURA HPC Hospice & Palliative Care today. 

We are all multifaceted beings with different needs. Attending physicians and caretakers tend to our physical health. Social workers can tend to our mental and emotional health. These are both essential members of a hospice care team. Just as these experienced professionals handle their respective specialties, so too does a hospice chaplain tend to the spiritual and many emotional needs of those receiving hospice care.

Navigating a Spiritual Journey

Towards the end of life, one's spiritual health is a crucial facet of their overall wellbeing. For some, the process of dying can be a confusing part of life that provokes a good deal of anxiety, depression, and even anger. Just as they have in life, many will look to spiritual practices, concepts, and specialists to help quell turbulent emotions and prepare them for death. Hospice chaplains help these patients to navigate their spiritual journey.

Who are Hospice Chaplains?

A hospice chaplain is typically a spiritual cleric of sorts employed by the hospice organization. This person is highly trained and experienced in helping those in hospice care and their families to achieve spiritual peace throughout the dying process. They can provide this peace and comfort by helping to answer questions, providing helpful spiritual wisdom to ease the mind and spirit of the patient by listening. Other times, a hospice chaplain best serves just by being silently present.

Hospice chaplains may be of a specific religious denomination, though most will have an interfaith background to assist patients of varying religious paths. All hospice chaplains are specially trained and experienced in unique challenges and concerns of the dying. Some find they may even be of more comfort to them than their regular chosen clerics.

Who Receives the Care of Hospice Chaplains?

Any hospice patient can request the consultation of a hospice chaplain. Some patients will already have a closer relationship with a non-hospice chaplain, such as a family priest, rabbi, minister, or imam — and may opt to visit with them instead. Other patients may not want any form of spiritual guide, instead opting for the spiritual care of friends and family. Regardless of a patient's religious affiliation or beliefs, hospice chaplains of any background will respect their faith and provide any support within their abilities.

Hospice Chaplains Provide Companionship

There are, unfortunately, some in hospice care with very few or no companions to accompany them on their departure. For these individuals, hospice chaplains fill in the crucial role of companion towards the end of life. Chaplains may also play an essential part in filling in any gap between the patient and the care of hospice caretakers and doctors — ensuring that they leave this world accompanied by a loving and compassionate friend.

How Hospice Chaplains Help Families

The dying process can be emotionally and spiritually difficult for close family and friends. Hospice chaplains also assist those close to hospice patients before, during, and even after the death of a loved one. When needed, family members or companions can consult hospice chaplains long after the death of their loved one to assist them while grieving. For most families, their loved one’s hospice chaplain has a precious place in their hearts for the rest of their lives. 

Meet Our Chaplains

If you or a loved one have any questions about the role of a hospice chaplain, you're welcome to reach out to us. If you're looking for an experienced and compassionate hospice care organization based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, we'd love to introduce you to our experienced hospice chaplains.

Reach out to Cura-HPC Hospice & Palliative Care Today

There are few instances in life more emotionally painful than losing a loved one. Whether they were a family member or a close friend, the death of a cherished person can leave one feeling lost, alone, sad, angry, or even bewildered. Your emotions may be the result of missing the person or upset that they are no longer living. Caretakers may feel especially confounded due to a void — a lack responsibility —  an aimlessness left by the duties that once consumed their energy. Feeling like you’re floating helplessly adrift, sad, or mad — these are normal emotions. Fortunately, there are many ways to help remedy these feelings. 

Don’t Ignore Grief

Because many are ill-equipped to manage feelings associated with grief after the death of a loved one, they feel that merely ignoring these emotions will make them disappear. This attitude is a tremendous mistake — one that may result in all manner of emotional, psychological, and even physical maladies down the road. It is essential to work through feelings of grief. Fortunately, there is a wide selection of grief management techniques and services from which to choose. 

Little Help From My Friends

One of the most potent forms of support can come from mutual family members and friends of the deceased. Not only are these individuals also grieving a loss, but they’re grieving the loss of the same individual. This mutual loss means a greater alignment of timing, feelings, and reference. The idea of sharing stories about this person can seem potentially pain-inducing at first, but you’ll be surprised how comforting these stories can be — as though this person’s essence has come back for a visit. A series of laughs, tears, and even new stories about this person will not only help to ease your grief but will bind you even closer to the fellow mourners of this loved one. 

Grief Counseling

Grief can be a traumatic event in your life. To better manage this pain, to work through your emotions, and begin to live your life again, there’s absolutely no shame in seeking professional help. Regular sessions with a trained therapist is a great way to attain personalized help and work through problems in a deeper, more profound way. Other forms of grief counseling can be via a support group. Support groups are organized through spiritual organizations, community centers, healthcare systems, or even hospice institutions. Some support groups are specialized for those who have lost parents, siblings, spouses, or even children. These shared experiences intensify the bonds among support group members — some of which go on to be lifelong friends. 

Sick With Grief

We all know that grief can leave you breathless, leave a pit in your stomach, or sap you of energy. Though some of these symptoms are purely emotional, severe grief and depression can result in physical sickness. The stress of a significant loss can reduce your appetite, cause you to crave the wrong kinds of foods, incumber sleep, or make you less likely to exercise. Any of these physical conditions can weaken your immune system and leave you more susceptible to viruses or bacterial infections. Yes, overcoming your grief is also a way to maintain your physical wellbeing. 

Hospice: Not Just for the Dying

Did you know that hospice care is more than a service for the dying, but also offer grief counseling services for the living as well? At Cura-HPC, our work isn’t through with the death of a loved one. Our Bereavement Care services extend for a full year past the death of a loved one. That means a person to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, and the hope of a brighter day. 

Learn More About Cura-HPC Today.

It can be easy to forget the terminal nature of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s Disease because the patients can sometimes live for many years with such conditions. Caregivers should remember that these will ultimately result in death and that they should plan accordingly.

Difficult Choices

As dementia progresses, the patient will exhibit lowered cognitive ability, a significantly impaired memory, and the inability to make sense of relatively simple concepts. These impairments of the mind can make the patient’s ability to communicate their desires and express physical discomfort. It can be challenging to determine, for instance, if a loved one with dementia is refusing to eat due to their mental confusion or because of the naturally decreased appetite associated with the dying process. Likewise, it can be easy to confuse an expression of physical discomfort with aggression stemming from confusion.

Providing spiritual and emotional comfort for those with dementia can pose a challenging feat. Will a loved one understand how you feel about them? Will family members have their goodbyes understood by a grandparent with advanced Alzheimer’s disease? Will discussing precious memories provide comfort or further confusion and frustration? During these times, when family members and friends don’t know how to give support to a dying loved one with dementia, skilled palliative care and hospice professionals can be an immensely helpful bridge to patient comfort.

Providing Comfort Via Sensory Stimulation

One approach to providing comfort to a loved one with dementia is through more universal comfort zones — primarily soothing sensory inputs. Enjoyable music and sounds associated with nature can have a dramatically positive effect on the mood of these patients. Gentle massaging of the hands and feet can help to relax those experiencing discomfort and confusion. These sensory techniques are some of the most beneficial modes of providing comfort to those with dementia.

Determining Proper Ongoing Care

When nearing the end of life for an Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s patient, it is crucial to decide which treatment is going to provide the best possible quality of life. Some medications can delay symptoms for a while. Other drugs can limit some unfavorable behavioral problems. While this is the case, some caregivers may not feel comfortable administering medications intended for later-stage Alzheimer’s disease. Other concerns may be whether or not the drugs will, in fact, improve their quality of life or if they come with adverse side effects. When making treatment decisions, the positive and negative outcomes should be weighed to make the best decision possible. Ultimately, a caregiver may need to make the appropriate treatment decisions based on the ongoing condition of the patient — sometimes weighing extending life against increasing the quality of the time they have left.

For help navigating end-of-life care for loved ones with dementia, Cura HPC is here for you. We invite you to learn more about the experienced palliative and hospice care specialists from Cura HPC today.