Many persons who have suffered loss ask the question, “Is there a wrong way to grieve?” This question is common, because we often assume that our grief experience must conform to a map we already have in our minds. It is important to remember that there is no one “right way” to grieve, and that our personal expectations are based on maps that are the generalized depictions of the journeys of others.

The truth is, there is no “wrong” way to grieve. Your personal grief journey will likely be a unique blend of different grief styles. Even when grieving the same loss, people express their individual grief at different places on the grief spectrum. One grieving style is not “better” than any other. Whether for ourselves or for others, honoring and validating the expressions and needs of the different grieving styles promotes individual healing.

The road that leads back to normalcy and recovery, will look different for everyone. This road can also change directions with very little notice. You never know how long it will take or what roadblocks will appear. The only thing you can do is accept that you’re grieving and do your best to deal with today’s problems. Although it might not seem like it, there is an end to this journey and you’ll get there soon.

Know that we continue to pray for and think about you, and all of your loved ones. We hope you will find this to be encouraging and helpful to you. If you would like to speak to someone personally, please do not hesitate to contact our Bereavement Coordinator, Thomas Schwartz. He can be reached at 918-994-4807. God bless and keep you!

Grieving styles exist along a spectrum – at one end are intuitive grievers, and at the other are instrumental grievers. Unsurprisingly, most persons who are traveling through a time of grief are mixtures of both. Intuitive grievers are heart grievers, and instrumental grievers are head grievers.

Instrumental grievers grieve primarily cognitively and physically. Expressing grief through activity, projects, and tasks associated with their loss is common. For head grievers, practical, “real-world” education regarding adjustment to loss is helpful, as are developing ways to memorialize the loss. Instrumental grievers readjust rapidly, and make efforts to return quickly to normal routines

Intuitive grievers mainly grieve emotionally. Heart grievers more often express and verbalize their feelings of grief. Intuitive grievers take more time to grieve, to explore and share feelings. For them, connecting and sharing with others is an important part of their journey toward healing and wholeness.

It’s important to note that no one is 100% instrumental or 100% intuitive. Everyone will be a mix of both, and neither grief style is more right or wrong than the other.

Know that we continue to pray for and think about you, and all of your loved ones. We hope you will find this to be encouraging and helpful to you. If you would like to speak to someone personally, please do not hesitate to contact our Bereavement Coordinator, Thomas Schwartz. He can be reached at 918-994-4807. God bless and keep you!

Summer is the season of travel. To get where we need and want to go, we often depend on maps. As all of us know from experience, a map is a picture, or representation, of areas and places that others have explored, navigated, or observed before us. Maps are great for road trips, but have you ever considered that we also use “maps” to guide our interpersonal relationships, as well as to better understand ourselves and our emotions?

When dealing with the loss of a loved one, people typically search, in one way or another, for a grieving map. However, it is vital to remember that the map is not the same as the reality. Maps that assist us in our grief journey can be helpful and useful, but they may not entirely reflect our individual, personal, and unique travels through grief.

You need to remember that dealing with a loss is something that affects everyone differently. We all bring in past experiences and unique perspectives. So trying to find a standardize process or roadmap for dealing with the grief of a loved one shouldn’t be the goal. Instead, focus on working through the emotions you’re feeling today.

Know that we continue to pray for and think about you, and all of your loved ones. We hope you will find this to be encouraging and helpful to you. If you would like to speak to someone personally, please do not hesitate to contact our Bereavement Coordinator, Thomas Schwartz. He can be reached at 918-994-4807. God bless and keep you!

When a loved one passes, one of the most difficult parts in the grieving process is the memories. Sometimes it seems like the smallest and most insignificant thing can trigger a memory that sets off a downward spiral of grief.

Memories evoked by pictures, special objects, songs, and other reminders of your lost loved one can be painful to recall at first. However, feeling your pain, and telling your stories, is a necessary and normal part of grief. In time, these fond memories are what will sustain your love for the special person you have lost long past the pain of your initial grief.

While it’s not a good idea to dwell on a memory for days or weeks at a time, it is important to take time and process the emotions you’re feeling. Like other aspects of grief, finding the right balance of time spent remembering will be a process.

One of the best things you can do in these times is just talk to someone. It could be a friend, family member, neighbor, or professional counselor, the key is not internalizing what you’re experiencing. Talking to someone will help you gain an outside perspective and you’ll be surprised how good it will feel to vocalize your emotions.

Know that we continue to pray for and think about you, and all of your loved ones. We hope you will find this to be encouraging and helpful to you. If you would like to speak to someone personally, please do not hesitate to contact our Bereavement Coordinator, Thomas Schwartz. He can be reached at 918-994-4807. God bless and keep you!

When the initial shock begins to lift, grief, sadness, and sorrow may come flooding in. When feelings of grief initially appear, your first response may be to try to avoid, or deny, these deeply unpleasant feelings. There is a common saying, but it’s true: The best way to get over your grief is to get through it. It is an understatement to write that grieving requires both a great deal of energy and time, but be sure to give yourself time to grief. Don’t rush it.

Expect “pin pricks,” painful reminders of your loss. These will occur for an extended period, but eventually will become less frequent. Difficult as they are, you can tolerate them, and they will accompany your healing process.

While each person grieves in their own way, much-needed support is experienced by mourning the loss with others. Annual events, such as birthdays, holidays, and family reunions, can be special times to renew relationships and share stories with others who also miss your loved one.

Finally, keep your “I love you’s” up to date. People are more important than anything else. Modern technology gives you limitless opportunities to give, as well as receive, expressions of love on a regular basis. Keeping in touch with those you love can lighten your heart when the heaviness of grief weighs on you.

Know that we continue to pray for and think about you, and all of your loved ones. We hope you will find this to be encouraging and helpful to you. If you would like to speak to someone personally, please do not hesitate to contact our Bereavement Coordinator, Thomas Schwartz. He can be reached at 918-994-4807. God bless and keep you!